I must admit, I did not see the whole charcuterie thing coming. The idea that the whole country would go wild over something they can’t spell really amazes me (spell check had to tell me three times that I got it wrong). And in terms of mispronunciation, charcuterie may only be surpassed by the word bruschetta (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wfoQy0mAok). Does charcuterie start with a ch sound like charred meat, which would make sense? Alas, no, the word is French, so it starts with an sh sound (see https://bit.ly/4fYBiud).
If you think this whole thing is a little bougie, I have to say that I agree (don’t ask me whether it’s bougie or boujee in this context). In Pennsylvania Dutch country where I grew up, we still call a charcuterie board a bolonie plate. No, not bologna. I did mean buh-lo-nie. You plop a plate of meat and cheese on the kitchen counter and set a yellow squeeze bottle of mustard next to it. We tend to be pretty down-to-earth, as demonstrated by all the hullabaloo in PA over crudité vs. veggie plate (https://bit.ly/3CxeLpV).
ALDI set up a Charcuterie Chalet Pop-up in Chicago for the holidays (https://guiltyeats.com/aldi-is-hosting-a-charcuterie-chalet-pop-up-in-chicago-this-december). A Central Market in Austin, TX (owned by HEB), set a new Guiness world record for the largest charcuterie board (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0OtGIPRcAs), with 1,000 pounds of meat and cheese. And evidently, it’s not acceptable to just throw some meat and cheese on a plate anymore. You have to take a lesson on how to make a charcuterie plate (https://chefalli.com/how-to-make-a-grocery-store-charcuterie-board/). Who knew that you could make salami look like a rose, create a salami river, or interlace it into a chain?
What does this all have to do with refrigeration? I promise I’m getting to that now in a roundabout way, a way that winds through salmonella poisoning and the marvels of modern refrigeration. Why am I spouting forth about this topic now? This all came up when we posted in our November Refrigerant Matters newsletter that you should not defrost your turkey in the dishwasher (https://dcerms.com/newsletter-archives/november-2024/). We received a LOT of feedback on that post, some of which I could have done without (yes, I mean you if you are the person who described the “Great Family Thanksgiving Disaster of 2009 – I’m not mentioning names – and I’ll never be able to say the word “consistency” again without recalling your details about bodily fluids).
Refrigeration is your friend. According to the FDA, meats and cheeses should only be left out, unrefrigerated, for a maximum of two hours (https://www.fda.gov/food/buy-store-serve-safe-food/serving-safe-buffets). That includes prep time. Think about that the next time you’re at a party. How often do you see party hosts watching the clock to time their charcuterie boards?
We take refrigerated food for granted. We don’t have to shop for our food every day, because we can store it in the refrigerator. We can buy exotic fruit from foreign countries because of refrigerated transport. We eat sushi. We can buy roses at the grocery store in December. We don’t poison relatives that we like as often as we used to, because we can defrost our turkey safely (I’m excluding what some might intentionally do to relatives they do not like).
So this Thanksgiving, while giving thanks for all the good things in your life, say a few words about refrigeration. When that one weird relative insists that every one of the 25 people at the table make a speech about what they’re thankful for, while you watch all the food get cold, and you begin to panic because you can’t think of something when put on the spot like that, relax. Just say, “I’m thankful for the marvel of modern refrigeration.” Depending on your personality, and depending on whether a (properly refrigerated) charcuterie board was part of the day, feel free to add, “because without it, life would really suck and several of you might have wound up lying on the floor in the bathroom a few hours after this meal.”
Number of People Infected with Salmonella Reading from Raw Turkey Products
By state, November 2017–March 2019
(Multistate Outbreak of Salmonella Infections Linked to Raw Turkey Products — United States, 2017–2019 https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/68/wr/mm6846a1.htm)
